Showing posts with label parties. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parties. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Secular Holiday Party? How About a Cookie Swap!

Even being a godless vegan straight edge heathen, I love Christmas. I'll be the first to admit there's a lot not to love about it. For instance, I don't exactly love how wasteful it is: dead trees resurrected as Christmas cards; wrapping paper mountains that disappear overnight; families on the news pleaing for help with their electric bill because their light display captures the "Christmas spirit" better than anyone else's. I also don't love how commercial it is: buy this or your daughter will hate you! buy that or your house won't be Christmas-y enough! buy something or you're a total Scrooge! It's all very insulting.

And yet, I am smitten. For me, Christmas means snow-kissed landscapes and jazz in unexpected places. It means strange holiday crafts and complementary color schemes (hello, art nerd here!). It means pausing to appreciate your loved ones and pressure to be a little kinder. It also means a wealth of cookie recipes. For those of us compelled towards Christmas by something other than Christian faith, there's only one way to celebrate this odd cultural melange of Christian mythology and Pagan tradition. And that way to celebrate is... a cookie swap.

In my mind, cookie swaps are everything Christmas should be - and best of all, they don't even have to be about Christmas. (True story! You could host a cookie swap in July!) They're intimate because the best ones stay relatively small, and they're selfless because everyone has to do something for everyone else. Plus, the cookies are a built-in conversation-starter: "Man, how did you get those cookies to look like stained glass? That's so neat!", "Hey, these are amazing. What's your recipe?", "Don't take any of those home; they taste like feet." Cookie swaps are such a relaxed, no-fuss social occasion.

The formula for a cookie swap is simple:



01. Assemble a small guest list - maybe five to twelve people - and send out invitations. Be sure to specify how many cookies everyone should bake and any dietary restrictions/allergies they need to be sensitive of. Also remind folks to bring a container if you won't be providing them. If you're really amazing, tell them to wear one of those amazing holiday sweaters, too.

Pro tip: the dollar store sells cookie tins and large stacks of those Chinese take-out looking boxes, so if you want to provide containers for guests, there are options.


02. Make sure to have a table ready for all the cookies. You can dress it up with a cloth, candles, whatever (there are always fancy table settings on Hostess with the Mostess if you're into that), but having that surface is what's important. If you're feeling up to it, decorate your home, too. The dollar store and thriftstore are great sources for materials, but it's easy to make your own decorations, too. For bonus points, put on some of that sweet holiday jazz. (The library is an excellent source for said music.)


03. Provide beverages. Most of the cookies will probably go home with folks, but some will definitely be eaten at the party. That's why you need to provide soymilk, at the very least, and maybe some coffees and teas. Vegg nog, hot chocolate, chocolate chai rice milk, chai, chocolate peppermint soymilk - all good options, too! If you want to get crazy, throw in some juices and whatnot.


04. Plan games. Yeah, catching up and eating cookies are activities unto themselves - and in your case, that just might be enough - but if you really want to mark your party as an occasion, throw in some party games. Pin the nose on Rudolph! White elephant! Name that (Christmas) tune! Holiday charades! Stock the stockings! And on and on and on...


05. Have fun. Because that's what it's about, after all. And don't forget to remind your guests to take home some cookies!


Next week, I'm going to give some holiday cookie recipes perfect for gift-giving and cookie-swapping, so STAY TUNED.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Throwing Parties, Making Invitations, and Being All Around Rad


I'm pretty sure there are more parties thrown during the month of December than any other month of the year. December offers a little something for everyone, even if it's just an excuse to make fun of drunk co-workers or avoid work for a few days. So, chances are good that, this month (well, in a few days...), you're either throwing a party or you know someone that is. That's why I wanted to give you a few 101 tips to make your party great. Specifically, I want to implore you to use these fandangled devices known as party invitations.

Now, the first thing any party needs is an occasion and a venue - because after you establish that, you can just add people. The occasion and the venue can dictate a lot - most obviously, they can dictate size - so if the occasion is a tea party, you probably don't want to invite a hundred people. At the same time, if the only place you can throw your shindig is the warehouse your uncle's renovating, you might not want to invite so few people that the size of the party echoes. Obviously, once you know roughly how many people you want, you can decide who those people are going to be; but of course, this is so much easier in theory than in practice.

Be mindful in planning your guest list. Smaller parties are going to require more careful planning, but even large parties need some thought, too. Sometimes it's just a matter of choosing people to introduce to each other - like Karen, who's a vegan straight edge drummer, and David, who has a spot in his vegan straight edge band. Other times, it's consciously keeping people apart - like Ellie, who is working towards recovery from anorexia, and Diane, who only speaks in pounds, inches, and diets. If it's the kind of party where extra guests are just assumed, don't make a point of inviting people you know will invite someone completely unwelcome, either - so for instance, don't call up the partner of a rapist that refuses to go through an accountability process and say, "Hey, want to come to my party!" because you're probably going to get the rapist, too. (And if you're welcoming unrepentant sexual assaulters into your party, you've got much bigger problems than whether or not to serve some Tofutti three days past expiration.)

Once you've established who you're inviting, you need to figure out how to invite them. Again, a lot of this will be dictated by the size of your soiree, but no matter what the size - do not resort to texting or social networking sites. Impersonal mass invites undo any and all personal touches. Sure, they save a little time, maybe money, but they're careless. Send real invitations. Real invitations are special because they affirm the person holding them as special. They say, "I consciously choose you to come to my party, and I'm so committed to that choice that I bothered choosing this invitation and making sure you got it." Plus, they distinguish your party. Let's say you're organizing a get-together on a night where there are going to be loads of them - a night like New Year's Eve, for example. You could send some invites on facebook to inevitably get lost in the thousands of other invites your facebook friends are surely receiving, or you could send an honest-to-goodness invitation people can admire aesthetically, tape to their fridges, and carry the accompanying directions from, in their car. Think of your invitation as an advertisement: you want people to come, so show people it's worth coming to. Otherwise, why bother with all this planning in the first place?

As for the invitation itself, there are a thousand different ways you can approach it. For bigger parties, use your computer to make flyers for doling out or mailing. For incredibly small ones, hand make each announcement. You can buy invitations, too, and while there are interesting finds at places like etsy, I prefer to keep my eye out for cheap and unusual cards at thrifstores, flea markets, and clearance sales. One time, I found the perfect invitations to announce a board game I'd made, at an art store's sidewalk sale. The invitations featured an early nineties glamor shot of this five-year-old dressed like a biker flashing a "mom" tattoo, so I used a really fine-tip permanent pen to alter it and read "Marx" because the game had Marxist undertones. Unfortunately, the game never got finished, but just subtly altering each one made them the best invitations I've ever bought. (And I've bought neon Batman invitations!) The trick is to be creative, so here are some ideas to get the ball rolling:

+ detail your event on pages ripped from a picture book (especially if the pictures relate to your party in some way)
+ draw the invitation
+ collage the invitation
+ send a message in a bottle
+ make a tape or CD with a recorded message, plus good music
+ make a mini-comic or zine about your party
+ use calligraphy
+ silkscreen it
+ embroider it
+ sew it
+ make objects into invitations (tshirts with the party details ironed on, boxes of candy with the info written on them, customized matchbooks, bubbles or jam with homemade labels, etc. etc.)
+ modify coloring book pages
+ use origami
+ graffiti your party details (erasably!) on friends' bathroom mirrors, fridges, etc.
+ turn a library checkout card into an invitation and hide it in books (NOT library books - like, books you'll give to your friends)

Be creative in your delivery, too. Mail and hand delivery are both fine options (especially in this digital age...), but there's something to be said about delivering an invitation that looks like a newspaper... as a newspaper. Or hiding your invitation to a clothing swap in your best friend's dresser. Or wheat pasting instructions to call you on the telephone pole outside someone's apartment. (You get the idea.) Even a tired old e-vite becomes cool when it's an email to a youtube video or a website made explicitly for this party. When you put thought into your party, people notice, and that thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The XVX Party Approach to Halloween

Okay, so remember yesterday when I said I had a juicy post in the works? And that it involved a guest poster? WELL, it was going to be about Halloween, and I was going to have "the ghost of Emily Post" narrate it. (I had a little Emily Post ghost drawing and everything.) The thing is, I've never thrown a Halloween party, have no intention of throwing a Halloween party, and have no business posting during a time when the internet's so saturated with Halloween ideas that my post would be super lame by comparison. (LAME - but with that xvx party flare!) So instead, I want to show you some sites I thought had rad ideas. I may not be able to generate great content on this topic, but there's something to be said about knowing where to find it, eh? Eh?

+ Last year, American Apparel had a costume contest. Even though it was a cheap promotional ploy, folks got pretty clever, and you could always replicate the ideas with non-AA clothing. Some of my favorites were a solute to Mondrian (can you tell I'm in art school...?), muscle woman (!!!), Robin (of Batman & Robin), these Nickelodeon Guts & Double Dare competitors, weepy liberal Optimus Prime, and Wall-E & Eve. They're having a contest this year, too, but it hasn't started yet. If I were going to do it, I'd dress in yellow long-johns and be that guy from Mad Max who... wears yellow long johns and hangs out with Mad Max. Ha.


+ Now where would all us budding crafsters and party planners be without The Anti-Craft? Pretty much every "issue" offers an assortment of Halloween-friendly ideas, but the Halloween-specific ones are in the archives under "Samhein" - Gaelic for "end of summer." Personally, I've always held Anti Craft's pumpkins as a gold standard in carving because I would feel like king of the universe if I could make pumpkins like this. If you hate yourself or everyone you know, attempt this Dia de los Meurtos paper table cloth; you'll die in the process of making it, but everyone that looks at it will die from an inferiority complex.


+ One of my newest and favorite blogs is A Very Vegan Holiday, which is kind of similar to xvx party in that it's about veganism and hanging out. (I think the author is also straight edge/substance-free..!) While Andrea always offers photogenic and delicious recipes, her specialty is Halloween, and she really serves up some good seasonal ideas. I especially like her Swamp Slim Kebobs and mini Halloween pies. Also check out her costume contest trophies. I don't think there ever was a more clever prize...


+ Spark People posted ideas on "not so tricky Halloween treats" which takes the emphasis off food on Halloween. Most of their tips are geared towards people handing out candy to children or parents with trick-or-treaters, but I think these tips have broader applications, especially if you're hosting a small Halloween gathering. If you're hosting a larger gathering - or you're just looking for some healthier treats - I also like Spark People's ideas about Halloween candy, especially since all of them are vegan.


+ Speaking of vegan treats, if you've never checked out PETA's classic Halloween candy list, you ought to. It's a holiday-specific version of their feature I Can't Believe It's Vegan! (whose snack list offers even more sneaky vegan treats for the holidays). I'd also like to mention that as of sometime at the beginning of the year, Skittles went vegan. HOLY CRAPHOLE, RIGHT?!?! However, I still sometimes come across old Skittles bags at grocery stores, so before chowing down on every fun-size bag of Skittles (that doesn't have an ingredients list!), you might want to wait a year in hopes that all the gelatin-packed bags disappear from shelves. Because we all know: there's nothing's fun about gelatin.


+ The mother of all party blogs (though wayyyyyy too flashy/shopping/"look at me, I bought all the perfect little doo dads and whatnots that I'll never reuse, and I don't care because I have tons of MONEY!"-oriented for my tastes) Hostess with the Mostess has some very detailed Halloween party plans. If details are the only thrill of party planning for you (we're talking picking out table cloths and the confetti to throw all over them, here), then this blog and its Halloween parties are for you! Even if you're not THAT committed to party planning (and really, who is?), there are some cool ideas - like these "spooky" foods and "creepy" cupcakes.


+ Okay, this one is a cop out, but Martha Stewart always has good holiday ideas. Check out her "favorite" costumes and her no-sew costumes. Both her indoor and outdoor decorations are mostly easy and affordable and utilize everyday objects that a lot of us have on hand (or can scavenge from the right dumpsters).


+ Creepy Cupcake is a blog that is not such a cop out. It's a year-round salute to all-things creepy, where every celebration has the sinister sensibility of a Halloween party. I especially like how Carrie Mae updates another site's party ideas, and check out her sick Halloween crafts like these puff paint spider webs. For more Halloween goodies, be sure to look at her side bar, too. Her list of links is GREAT.
+++

As for my Halloween tips... well, I haven't many. I like classic kids' games like bobbing for apples, goofy fortune-telling booths, ouija boards, seances, and homemade haunted houses. I also advise all you avid Halloween-sters to check out your local thrift stores around Halloween time because they always have TONNNNNS of Halloween stuff out - costumes, decorations, invitations, THE WORKS - and it's hella cheap. (I got some sweet ass Batman invitations at the Salvation Army last year for, like, fifty cents. Seriously, these things were EPIC.) If this post has inspired you, be sure to check out grocery stores and stuff for post-Halloween sales, too. Maybe you're not ready for a party this year, but there's always next year, right?

Now be safe and have fun! What are your Halloween plans this year? WHAT ARE YOU DRESSING UP AS?!?!?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Pop-Tart-y Party


Wow, it feels like a long, hot minute since I've updated. It's not that I don't have material (heaps upon heaps of material...); it's just that I'm back at school. Though it was probably easy to infer, I never fully articulated that I took the summer off, but now that I'm back into the swing of Georgia things, life gets real busy real fast. Fear not, though, faithful readers, I will have a real update soon. In the mean time, I wanted to share with you a little something.

There are a lot of reasons why I write this blog, but the most fundamental is that I want people to challenge their daily routines. I don't expect everyone to be vegan or straight edge (or vegan straight edge!), but I want to share some of the reasons why I make these decisions (for indeed, staying committed to an xvx lifestyle is a daily decision), and I want to show people what I'm doing when I'm not eating animal products or rockin' a forty. It pleases me to no end when people contemplate these things after reading a post or two, and it especially pleases me to know they're experimenting with some of the ideas I've thrown out there.

One of my good friends in Denver (hi, Alex!) shot me an email to show me that she had a pop tart party. A pop tart party! I think this is a pretty fabulous way to spend an afternoon. If I remember correctly, everyone brought an ingredient and assembled their own little pastry. (Even if I don't remember correctly, I think this is a good idea.) The pictures are pretty fabulous because they show a variety of approaches to the recipe I posted - not only in ingredients but also in, uh, shape.




Obviously, this wasn't a huge event or a late night fiesta, but people are having some serious fun...



Actually, this girl doesn't look like she's having too much fun... YET. Duh, the party's about to start in her mouth! (Never judge a party by its appearance.)



I don't know about you, but I'm just floored by this enthusiasm. Seriously, is there any better testimonial than these ladies flashin' their pearls? They don't even care that, that one pan looks like Wicked Witch leftovers! Because it's a common fact the content on xvx party leads to Good Times, period. So if you've ever thought about trying something - a recipe, a game, a party, ANYTHING - don't hesitate to let me know about it. In fact, I'm putting my email in the side bar so you can do exactly that...

A special thanks to Alex and her goof ball gang for the awesome pictures. In the mean time, keep your eyes peeled for something juicy to sink your teeth into.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Pick your Picnic

I love picnics because they're more or less guerilla eating; they can take place anywhere, anytime, with anyone, featuring any menu. Plus, the context can impart it with all kinds of meaning - anything from adventure to romance to intimacy. The possibilities of picnics are endless, but I think most people think of them as this staid activity: you get a basket, pack some sandwiches, go to the park, eat with a friend. How dull! With a little creative planning, picnics can be so much more.

PICNIC IN A FORT
Spend an afternoon with your best friend. Rip all the sheets off your bed, all the cushions off your furniture. Push together all kinds of tables and chairs, and build yourselves a fort. For bonus points, outfit the inside of your fort with basic amenities: soup can phones to communicate with the outside world, shoe boxes for important documents and top secret treasures, binoculars to monitor potential intruders, etc. Recruit your dog or cat to protect you. (And be sure to keep some snacks on hand for him/her to reward him/her for a job well done.)

potential food
+ chik'n nuggets & mac'n'cheez
+ grilled cheez sandwiches (I recommend Tofutti cheddar singles)
+ nut butter plus jam, rice mellow, or bananas on bread*

potential drinks
+ fresh squeezed lemonade
+ juice boxes
+ plain or chocolate "milk"

potential desserts
+ fresh fruit
+ candy
+ oreos
+ magic cookie bars

* Pro Tip: use a cookie cutter to make your sandwiches into fun shapes like crescents or butterflies.




PICNIC ON A SNOW DAY
On a snow-y afternoon, spread a cozy blanket across the floor near the window with the best visibility. Outfit yourselves in your warmest pajamas and slippers, and watch the snow fall with a friend or lover. Huddle close or cuddle (you know, to keep warm) and take turns reading fairy tales to each other.

potential foods
+ chili w/cornbread
+ chik'n & dumplings
+ quiche or pot pie

potential drinks
+ hot cocoa
+ warm cider
+ tea or coffee

potential desserts
+ peppermint brownies
+ sugar cookies in seasonal shapes
+ cinnamonn rolls


ROMANTIC PICNIC
Pack your picnic into a box, and wrap it up like a present. Blindfold your partner and whisk them away to an interesting or romantic spot - maybe the place where you first met or an abandoned train yard with a nearby swimming hole. Present them with the present, then sit and enjoy your feast. Find shapes in the clouds together and cuddle (lots).

potential foods
+ spring pea tarts*
+ creamy risotto or pasta
+ Fabios portobello passion**
+ pineapple tempeh with fragrant quinoa

potential drinks
+ sparkling juice
+ fruity lemon- or limeade
+ strawberry hibiscus Arnold Palmer
+ any sort of mocktail

potential desserts
+ chocolates or truffles
+ chocolate lava cupcakes
+ lemon meringue pie***

Pro Tip: choose foods known as aphrodisiacs.

* This recipe isn't vegan, but I've made it vegan before, and it ROCKS. I substituted Tofutti cream cheese for the Nufchatel (sp?), nutritional yeast for the parmesan (more than the recipe recommends, maybe three or four times as much), and Earth Balance or soymilk for the egg.
** Holy crap, did you know that Fabio put together a "romantic" vegan meal for PETA? HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT? I really only put the link to the mushroom so I could talk about his romantic menu. HILARIOUS. I can't believe this exists.
*** This recipe requires a special mix, so I also found this recipe (it's near the middle of the thread; also note the marshmallow recipe that could be used for topping). I've heard murmurings of using Rice Mellow as a meringue, too, so you might want to experiment with that.




MIDNIGHT PICNIC
In the middle of the night, stow away to a secret spot with a friend or lover. Tell ghost stories and take turns pointing out constellations. If neither of you know any, make some up and talk about them. Conclude the evening with some wheat pasting, urban exploring, or a frolic in the graveyard. Know your rights if you encounter any police, and remember these words: "I choose to stay silent! I'd like to speak to my lawyer!"

potential foods
+ pizza or calzoni
+ falafel sandwiches & fries
+ pad thai
+ General Tao's tofu over brown rice

potential drinks
+ all natural soda
+ coffee
+ chocolate "milk"

potential desserts
+ fauxstess cupcakes or twinkies
+ trail mix
+ brownies



SUNRISE PICNIC
Surprise a friend or lover by throwing stones at their window in the morning while it's still dark. Then head for a scenic spot and watch the sun rise together. Exchange secrets and make grand plans for the future.

potential foods
+ coffee cake
+ donuts, muffins, or scones
+ anti-egg mcmuffins
+ tofu scramble

potential drinks
+ tea or coffee
+ smoothies

potential desserts
+ fresh fruit or fruit salad
+ soy yogurt w/granola



AUTUMN PICNIC
Fall is one of my favorite times of year: good weather, good clothes, good food. Grab a friend and go some place to just bask in how amazing autumn is. Be sure to jump in some leaves.

potential food
+ tofu-veggie tart from Supersize Me
+ pumpkin pasta with apple-sage "sausage"
+ shepard's pie or veggie pot pie
+ acorn squash stuffed with chestnut stuffing

potential drinks
+ cider (cold, warm, or sparkling)
+ cranberry juice
+ ginger beer
+ tea

potential desserts
+ cran-apple cobbler
+ baked pumpkin donuts
+ pumpkin cheesecake or pecan pie




Pro Tip: DON'T LIMIT YOURSELF TO A PICNIC BASKET! Because you can carry your food and utensils in all kinds of things. Backpacks and bags are pretty obvious, but try something different (even if it's just carrying everything in a basket on the front of your bike). Here are a few suggestions:



How about you? What kinds of picnics have you been on? What kinds of picnics would you like to go on? What are your best picnicking tips?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Meet Me at the Movies


I watch absurd amounts of movies. Absurd. I feel a deep affinity with The Gilmore Girls because we both value copious amounts of food and film. My dad is a filmmaker, so movies - they were always on, we were always watching them, it's just what we DID. Once, I was applying for a job at Blockbuster, and one of the questions on the application was: How many movies do you watch a month? I think I answered about ten, but in actuality, I probably average around twenty, maybe thirty. Canceling my Netflix a few years ago was a painful decision, but my Blockbuster Rewards card has MORE than paid for itself . It's not accurate to say that movies are my LIFE (I'm in art school, not film school after all) but they're definitely a big part of it.

There is a drawback to being such a cinemaphile, though. "Dinner and a movie" isn't just a generic date for me; it's my default hang out. Always spending time with people like this gets redundant, and there's a certain level of alienation inherent in staring at a glowing box beside someone else. I frequently have to remind myself to mix it up, but in moderation, I don't think watching a few movies with some friends is bad at all. On the contrary, with a little planning and the right friends, it can be intensely awesome.

Planning a movie night turns an ordinary experience into an EVENT. The activity is automatically imparted with some sense of occasion, which I think makes it a little more special and memorable. If you were a total Martha, you could go all crazy and throw up some movie posters, get little striped boxes for popcorn, maybe slip your pimply-faced younger brother a twenty to stand at your fridge labeled "concessions" handing people sodas - whatever. But I don't think you need to give yourself a complete hysterectomy just to make your movie-watching more than Another Night with the Friends. I say, all you need is a good menu and a good theme, and the rest will take care of itself.

The menu is the easy part. When watching a movie, who wants to be fiddling with a knife, searching for a napkin, and wondering if a pea just fell in their shirt while the killer is finally being unmasked? There's a reason movies get paired with finger foods, so get grabby with stuff like pigs in a blanket or veggie sushi. For more substantial eats, calzoni or mini quiches work great. If you want to keep it simple, stick with popcorn but kick it up a notch. One of my favorite ways to eat popcorn is a little melted Earth Balance with a generous helping of nutritional yeast. Try it with an infused oil or caramel coating. (Okay, okay, we've all had it this way, but if you've been vegan for a while, it's probably been a hot minute.) You could also forego popcorn altogether and get your crunch from cauliflower popcorn or roasted chickpeas in your favorite spices. Top the evening off with cupcakes or rootbeer floats.

As for the theme... well, the theme is the most important part, so you can't cop out! Sure, you could default into a trilogy like Aliens* or The Godfather or you could play the greatest hits from your favorite director. Other cop outs include eighties teen comedies or classic horror flicks, but if you're reading this blog, you're way too interesting to throw a movie night like that. You are fully aware that other movies can come in threes, too - like movies...

+ with main characters named Hannah
+ featuring Brad Pitt's butt in a supporting role
+ that take place in Morocco
+ that got nominated but did not win Academy Awards twenty years ago
+ without which there would be no Wes Anderson
+ you watched all the time as a kid but haven't seen since




Here are some more specific lists I made:



zombie comedies
Not all zombie movies have the gravity of a Romero or Fulci. Here are three oft forgot zombie classics that will make you giggle while rotting your braaaaains.

Dead Alive: zombie apocalypse cuts the chord for a serious mama's boy; romance for more than the main character leads to zombie babies; features a totally zAnY zombie priest.
Re-Animator: predictable results when a re-animation serum is introduced to a morgue; zombies with lobotomies and girlie-girl screams; wonderfully gore-filled ending.
Return of the Living Dead: army loses a can of quarantined zombie that explodes in a medical supplies warehouse; goofy isolated dance sequence in cemetery with cranky, naked punk rock girl.


offbeat romances
Yes, there were movies like Moldy Peaches songs before Juno. I've even mentioned some before.

Wristcutters: see this post.
Harold and Maude: yep, same post.
True Romance: forgotten Tarantino film about a comic book nerd that marries the prostitute hired to bang him on his birthday; Samuel L. Jackson screaming about how much he loves cunilingis and Gary Oldman in a goofy fucking wig.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Michel Gondry proving some feelings just won't go away.


movies you weren't meant to laugh at
Nothing gets people talking like a movie that's completely over-the-top or under-produced, or flat out never should have been made.

Braveheart: I'm definitely stirring some controversy with this one, but I don't know howwww anyone takes this movie seriously; how can you take ANYTHING Mel Gibson made seriously?** In this one, he attempts an accent, flashes his butt, and dives into the water on a horse. DIVES INTO THE WATER ON A HORSE. No other plot points are relevant.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 - impossibly upper-middle class girls struggling with impossibly upper-middle class problems; scoff at Alexis Bleidel as Greek and everyone and everything in NYC being THAT cool; painfully heteronormative BUT - The Pants get bedazzled this time. (aside: how did I get suckered into watching either 1 or 2..?)
Glitter: remember when Mariah Carey made a movie? I haven't seen it, but it's still used as a gold standard for awful movies. That and Gigli. HAS to be worth it.


movies that incorporate animal liberation
Yeah, I can't think of any movies where that's WHAT the movie is about, but here are three flicks with some vegan themes.

Dead Alive: I know this already got brought up, but its applications are broad!
28 Days Later: the whole world goes zombie after a failed animal liberation.
12 Monkeys: Bruce Willis time traveling; Brad Pitt as c-c-c-crazy (with his butt in a supporting role); occasional props that hint at The City of Lost Children; kind of strange cinematography.




* I refuse to acknowledge anything after the third in the same way some Star Wars fans refuse to regard the new ones.
** I think it goes without saying that Mad Max movies are exempt from this statement.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Mini-Vacation: Parties & Plans


I have three weeks until my new quarter starts, so I'm kicking my feet up in sunny Cincinnati. I haven't had serious home-sickness since moving, but there are a few great things about being here. For one thing, Cincinnati is ten degrees behind Savannah, so I'm actually spending time outside instead of scuttling between destinations against what feels like a current of lava. Today I wore my straight edge short-shorts and went on a long walk, where I ran into my friend Nic, and we wound up spending all afternoon catching up and comparing art notes. I've only lived in Savannah for a minute, but school and work keep me so busy that it's hard finding the time/energy for new people and new adventures. (That's why you've gotten, like, three updates in two months, and they've been exclusively about food.) As much as I'd enjoy spending the next three weeks drinking Tazo's passion tea over ice and catching up on my subscription to The Believer, the sense of the familiar that being here gives me really makes me want to get out and savor it.

Here are some things I will do while I'm home:


Organize an epic neighborhood game.
Nothing quite says summertime like a raucous game that spans an entire neighborhood where you and all your friends get sneaky and sweaty and exchange insults and then drink sodas afterwards. My all-time favorite is capture the flag. Use a major city street as a dividing line, then extend boundaries three or so blocks in either direction. A good recon strategy is to figure out a way to use your team's identifying mark to blend in - so if ya'll are using bandanas, instead of wearing it around your arm or forehead, hang it around your neck or use it as a ponytail holder. Invite people you don't know to join in; it's an easy way to make new friends and a good way to up the ante on flag security. Other epic summer games include hide-and-seek, ghost in the graveyard, kickball, and four square. Basically, if it was fun when you were a kid, it's probably still fun - especially since you 're probably free of youthful restrictions like curfew. Just imagine playing freeze tag sometime after midnight in an abandoned mall parking lot while trying to outrun "it" and rent-a-cops. What about Marco Polo in the middle of a parade? Ordinary situations get extraordinary when you subvert expectations of them, so get creative and play some games.



Party like it's 1939. (... aka make art.)
My friend Nic is teaching me to block print! Another friend and I are working on a comic book! I have to embroider a onesie! When I have extra time, it's pretty easy for me to just watch movies and bake until life picks up again, and while sometimes that's necessary, now is not like that. I'm trying to combine my love of art with my love of friends to feel really good about this break.

Follow my lead and embrace your artistic side this summer. Teach one of your friends a skill, or have them teach you. Hunker down with a book from the library and teach yourself, even. (That's how I picked up embroidery. Watch out, Jenny Hart!) Better yet, assemble a group of people, pool supplies, and throw a craft party. Make cards for political prisoners. Play Surrealist games like exquisite corpse. Eat food you can customize: cupcakes, pizza, calzoni, sundaes...! Then lie under the stars, find your own constellations, and make origin stories for them. It'll be a blast.




Hula hoop like mad.
A few bloggers I follow have gotten into hula hooping in the last year, and since I don't like exercise that leaves me mad sweaty, I thought I'd give it a shot. It's really easy and produces pretty good results in a short amount of time (I noticed flatter abs after, like, two weeks). Most importantly, though, IT'S FUN. And you can do it just about anywhere, anytime.

Hooping has made me feel nostalgic in a good and a bad way. It's reminded me of other rad things I used to occupy myself with as a kid, like jump rope and horse (remember all that hoop-shooting, horse-spelling nonsense?), but it's also made me feel really old. I was pretty athletic as a kid: always on the monkey bars, racing around the playground, playing softball in a neighboring field... but I was really sedentary and chubby as a teenager. When and how did my lifestyle change so dramatically? In the present, I think there's more balance (though I still probably lean too far to the "sedentary" side of the spectrum...), but I miss being active in a FUN way and having crazy stamina as a result. I really like weight lifting, and sometimes work out dvds and cardio machines aren't a total chore - but come on, that shit is so stiff and serious. That's usually the excuse I make for not doing it, and that's lame. I think we all need to revisit some personal pastimes of bygone eras to remember that exercise doesn't have to be this isolated maintenance sort of activity, but instead, it can be a really stellar part of our everyday lives that happens to have great side effects like hot muscles. Remember jumping on that wiggly bridge on the playground? Seeing how long and high you could swing and then doing crazy jumps off and skidding through the mulch? Did anyone get into hopscotch? Sure, Red Light, Green Light is a great way to get some blood pumping, but we don't always need our friends to have a good time and a good workout. What kinds of shenaniganery did you occupy yourself with as a kid?



Make some homemade ice cream.
I make really good vegan ice cream, but like a big pile of lame, I completely skipped out last summer. I can't make ice cream at school, so I need to do it pretty much constantly in the next three weeks, I've decided. I've never written out my recipe, either, so I sort of need to rediscover it, and ohhh, there are so many flavor possibilities. Yes, I think constant ice cream making is requisite.

Like any vegan ice cream maker, I've been a follower of Vegan Ice Cream Paradise for some time now. I really like this blog because the author has loads of troubleshooting tips and flavor ideas. That said, I find the recipes don't freeze well and are best enjoyed immediately, which I'm usually not ready to do. This was my first foyer into vegan ice cream making, but over the years, I've learned to fuse a number of recipes. I know playing with the recipe over at the Post Punk Kitchen (which I think is the same as the one in Veganomicon?) helped me develop my sense of texture, and Bryanna Clark Grogan's gelato recipe has been a huge influence, too. Why am I saying all this when I can't even remember my recipe exactly? I'm not sure except I guess to show you that there are a lot of options for homemade vegan ice cream, which can be really cost effective if you consume it en masse like I do come summer. (Please note the four - yes, FOUR - vegan ice cream cookbooks reviewed on Ice Cream Paradise.) Ice cream making is really fun and easy to play with, and even "botched" ice cream is never REALLY botched. If you've never considered it, I suggest you keep your eyes peeled for an ice cream maker at the thrift store and give it a shot. Then throw an ice cream party and make everyone bring an ingredient or topping. If you only plan on making one homemade ice cream, have people bring pints, too. No matter how you do it, it's wins all around. Am I right?




Spend some quality time with my gritty kitty.
I live in a dorm right now because my scholarship covers it, so my cat and I have been estranged - a strain I don't think anyone that doesn't know me or my cat personally would understand. We are paper and glue: you tear us apart, and while we'll always have pieces of each other wherever we go, it's a sticky, scrappy mess. Tooters McStinklebottom III is my world. In an ideal world, there would be no domesticated animals, and while we can try to spay and neuter the cycle out of repeating itself, it doesn't solve what to do with the animals that are already here. I don't believe you can "own" an animal but merely act as its caretaker, a parent figure, and adopting an animal is as grave a commitment as adopting a child. You can't abandon a child, but I feel like I've abandoned my Toots, and that kills me all the time. I know it kills him, too, because he clung to me desperately when I got into town. Apparently, it was one of the first times he's purred since I left, even though he has absolutely wonderful people looking after him. I'm so excited to be spending time with my little boy.

Now, a lot of people take their animals for granted - especially if they conceive of them as "pets" instead of creatures they co-habitate with. Really, they're just friends in a different form, and they need appreciation and treats like everyone else. When the weather gets nice, I take my cat on picnics. I suit him up in a little harness and leash, and then we walk around the park. We'll definitely be picnicking together soon, but I'm going to plan it around some of his favorite vegan eats (which include: nutritional yeast, cheerios, fake cheese, soymilk, flax waffles...). My cat's not vegan because, based on my research, it's not healthy to raise a vegan cat. However, did you know dogs are easily raised vegan?


Enjoy zany vegan novelty foods.
I never fully appreciate the grocery stores here until I'm out of town. In Savannah, we have an assortment of Kroger's, some Piggly Wigglies, a few mega-stores with grocery-ish sections, and one health food store. The health food store rules - in part because one of the managers is a Cincinnati native I hadn't seen in five years, but also because it's got some choice items I'd been dying to try but could only find online (like Teese). However, it suffers the same drawback that every health food store does, in that it's really expensive, and it still doesn't offer all the comforts of home.

Grocery shopping in Georgia just isn't the same as grocery shopping in Cincinnati because in Cincinnati, grocery shopping is an EXPERIENCE. I can think of five health food stores off the top of my head, and most of our normal grocery stores have great natural and "international" foods sections. Plus, we have two Whole Foods, a Trader Joes, and this place called Jungle Jim's, which is an amusement park that got converted to an international grocery store. In addition to a phenomenal and incredibly vegan-friendly inventory, Jungle Jim's has animatronic lions dressed up like Elvis and weird displays of the General Mills icons. They've been trying to get a monorail through the store for years, and every year, I choose to believe that dream is a little closer to a reality. This place rules, and it's easily one of the best parts about eating in Cincinati.

Cincinnati has a crazy-cheap cost of living, so you can get more goofy vegan stuff for less, plus lots of unusual ingredients like durian fruit. My big indulgence so far has been an assortment of sausages from Field Roast, which is some of the best vegan "meat" I've ever had. (It's got a meat-y quality without outright masquerading as meat, but that's another post entirely.) I've got a lot on my horizon, including Rice Dream's new vegan cheese singles, so be expecting some reviews. Also, I think a potluck is in my future, no?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Let Them Eat Scones

I’m going to throw a tea party. I’ve been toying with the idea for a while now, but there have been two significant hitches in my plan: one, that my residence is ever-changing; and two, that I fear the gender implications such a party would have. Because seriously, I want to do it up right: silly clothes and silly decorations and silly invitations. My best friend has even offered to let me use her grandmother’s antique tea set, and you bet I’m going to sit it on a doily or something.

Over the months, I haven’t let myself mull this party properly, though; it feels like I’m selling out. I have hairy arms and hairy legs and get into hairy situations. I’m not supposed to want to throw tea parties! I didn’t even have tea parties as a kid (too preoccupied with lesbian Barbies that got it on at the drive-in); why are they so appealing at twenty-two?

Well, there are a few reasons. I think part of it is that I like planning social occasions. As much as women are stereotyped as the centers of social networking, I don’t think that’s such a bad quality for members of either sex to develop. So here I go, embracing being a bringer-together of people. In this particular instance, I want it to be an all-female event because I’m looking at it as an opportunity to enhance my female relationships. Patriarchy has successfully pitted a lot of women against each other because a lot of us (myself included) have bonded to men in our attempts to reject traditional femininity. And in bonding to men, we’ve wound up unknowingly siding with them a lot of the time - to the greater detriment of our sex. Ladies having lady friends is important in the same way that POC caucuses are important at radical events: sometimes there are things that only folks that share your identity would understand. How strange that I want to develop this camaraderie through such a symbolically-oppressive event!
This brings me to my next point: that I like doing traditional things ironically. Face it, everyone does now. Those knitting patterns with skulls in them? Shit like “his” and “her” flasks? 3D wood puzzles that make guns instead of planes? We can hide behind the politics of subversion or say we’re challenging the routines of everyday life, but what it realty comes down to is this culturally irrelevant Urban Outfitters “LOL”-wave that we’re all riding. Whatever, fuck it; I’ve accepted it as a fact of my generation. Who am I to pretend to be immune?

The final reason is that there’s this part of me that longs for some sense of routine, of occasion. People used to get dressed up to ride airplanes. If someone asked you to stop talking during a movie, you did it. Dinner was eaten at a table. Not all traditions need to be resurrected (I’m totally peeved when a boy tries to out-pace me just because he wants to get to the door first so he can open it. Dude, I’m just a fast walker, and if I beat you to the door, fucking deal. It’s just a door); not all tradition needs to be resurrected resolutely (I know it’s tacky, but I won’t stop wearing pajamas to the video store). All that being said, I feel something’s gotten lost as we’ve distanced ourselves from cultural routine. Nothing feels special anymore! So the thought of receiving an invitation (in the MAIL of all places) to an event that someone planned right down to the guest list (which I was decided to be included on! hurrah!) – well, that charms me right down to my marrow. It’s not always bad to revisit things that otherwise seem antiquated. And I’m doing this by throwing a tea party (eventually).

Now, a good tea party requires a good menu, and I think I have a lot of it worked out. (This, of course, will be revealed in greater detail as the time to execute this actually approaches.) But a tea party just wouldn’t be a tea party without some good goddamn scones (oh, and tea). I’ll be honest: I haven’t had a single good goddamn scone since going vegan. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had many things that were good that people called “scones,” but anyone who knows anything about scones knows most things people try to pass as scones, well, aren’t. That thing you picked up at Starbucks? Nuh-uh. Those whatnots on a tray at Whole Foods? Try again. True scones should be somewhere between a cake and a biscuit: moist and fluffy with a little bit of crisp. All those pastries being pandered by vegan blogs and cookbooks are nonsense. I need the real thing, baby.

Needless to say, the perfect vegan scone is something I’ve been working on for years. Once, I actually got it (okay, so I lied about that “good scone since going vegan” thing), but it was a complete fluke that occurred at a time when I knew nothing about baking. I have no idea what I did, and all subsequent attempts at recreating that recipe have been miserable failures. In fact, my attempts to doctor a lot of scone recipes have been miserable failures (in part because I was unknowingly doctoring recipes that produced those meal-y biscuits I’ve been complaining about). However, after a lot of tries and a lot of research, I believe I’ve finally got it. I’ve finally got that good goddamn (vegan) scone. So without further ado…


GOOD GODDAMN (VEGAN) SCONES
+ 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
+ 2 tsp baking powder
+ 1 1/2 tsp arrowroot powder
+ 1/2 tsp salt
+ 1 cup non-dairy milk
+ 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
+ 1/2 cup non-dairy butter
+ 1/2 cup sugar
+ 1/2 cup chocolate chips*
+ 1/2 cup raisins*
+ extra non-dairy milk for glazing

* Really, you can use whatever you want in whatever quantities you want or omit this shit completely. Pro tip: avoid fresh fruit. If you want fruity scones, use frozen fruit. Don’t add them to the well, though. After that step, roll out the dough and put the frozen fruit all over it, then fold the dough over and roll it out again. If you’re too vigorous about mixing the fruit in, it’ll dye the dough and get all weird and… it’s just not something you want to do. So just fold and roll, my sweets.

01. Heat the oven to 500 degrees (yeah, 500) and place the oven rack in the middle. Add the vinegar to the “milk “and set aside to curdle. (This will be your “buttermilk.”) Sift together the flour, baking powder, arrowroot, and salt. Now, none of us really sift when a recipe tells us to sift, but in this case, it really makes a difference. The more the flour’s been sifted, the more it helps create a fluffy texture when everything’s mixed together. I wouldn’t sift more than five times, but you know, do it at least once and go to town if you’re up for it. (C’mon, friend, meet us in Sift Town!)

02. In a separate bowl, cream together the sugar and “butter.” This is important because it incorporates the sugar better than just putting the sugar in the dry ingredients and adding the wet. I can’t explain the science of it, but trust me, all bakers agree on this. Once the sugar and butter are total BFF, add them to your flour mixture. Using a pastry cutter or fork (some books suggest some weird two-butter knife method, but I have no idea what’s up with that, but if you do, you can use that, too), cut in the butter/sugar. You can stop when your bowl looks like it’s full of flour crumbles instead of flour. You want something meal-y but still uniform.

03. Grease up a baking sheet, then measure out your additives. It’s important to have everything ready to go before combining it because once the wet hits the dry (well, the now semi-dry), the acid in the “buttermilk” will activate the baking powder, and there’s only so active it can be before it’s less/inactive. We’re running on a schedule here, people! Make a little well in your butter flour, and pour all that “buttermilk” in. Throw your chocolate/raisins/whatever on top of that, and with a rubber spatula, mix everything together working from the inside out. Slowly but surely, the dough will come together, but be careful not to over-mix. Over-mixing produces more gluten, and more gluten means a stiffer scone. We’re shooting for something light, remember?

04. On a well-floured surface, roll/pat out your dough to a roughly 8- to 10-inch square, about an inch high. Then take a glass or cookie cutter (hearts are way cute and dorky) and cut out your scones. Be sure to dip your glass/cutter in flour before each pressing; it’ll make your life so much easier. Then place them on your baking sheet. You can push together the leftover scraps and make more until you’re out of dough. I’m not going to lie, I ate the raw dough that couldn’t be made into a pretty shape. Anyway, using a pastry brush (or your finger if you’re super punk rock like me), lightly glaze your scones with non-dairy milk. Then pop them in the fridge for fifteen minutes (or the freezer for ten).

05. When time’s up, pull them from the fridge/freezer, and give them a second glaze. Turn your oven down to 425 degrees, and pop those suckers in for 15 to 18 minutes. (The bigger the shape, the more time they’ll need.) If you’re keeping an eye on them with your handy dandy oven light, you’ll be really tempted to keep them in there longer because they won’t seem brown enough, but trust me, it’s time to pull them. Let them cool, and enjoy with your favorite scone-worthy beverage (tea, coffee, cocoa, vegg nog, etc.)


This recipe yields somewhere between twelve and fifteen scones.